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Me, Myself, and I

Ah...hun....it, apparently has been about I year since I updated. Wow. That is a very long time, so I thought that what the hey I have a free second I should post. I am now a senior in high school. Only three more months left of school. Wooo. I'm getting anxious already. Anyhow....the major thing that is happening this year, is in March. I go to a very elite choir at my school, and basically out school is one of the best (public) high schools for music in our state so every year we make it into this thing where we get to go to new york city to sing at Carnigy(sp?) hall. All of the best high school choirs in the US gather to sing there, and it's pretty cool. We are conducted by really famous people as well, so it is a great honor. All of the choirs sing together but like 5-6 are selected to sing as solo groups and get to sing as their single choir on stage for 8 minutes. Our school has been doing it for like the past +7 years or something, and this year we were selected for the first time to sing as a solo group. So that should be pretty cool. I'm looking forward to it. <3 Yay, music.

Current Mood: crazy crazy

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I feel like crying. Writing has been a constant part of my life since the 6th grade, it is what I do and about the only thing that I allow myself to take pride in. I love how when I write, I am in control of everything my characters say and do, because I and the one telling the story.

But right now I am having trouble writing.

The pool from which my words had come seems to have dried up. And now I am listless. I do not know what to do as even my hand at writing has betrayed me.

Before, the words that were my writing could quell this thirst burning in my throat, but now no amount of words that I intake can stop the painful stinging as my mirage turns to sand in my mouth.

And now that I lay in a pile of sand, my entire body slowly drying up as I have no reserve of the water that is my stokes of a pen on paper, I think, and I realize now probably for the first time that maybe I was never good at writing. Maybe I just now, finally opened my eyes to see the shit before me, and recognized it for what it was.

But now I have nothing as I know, deep down in the sanctity that is my mind, I never had ‘a hand at writing.’ I never had writing at all so it couldn’t betray me. I just created that thought to put my own mind at ease because reading and writing was always so important to me. No one can take that gift away.

But now the league that my writing skill is equivalent to…is not even on the charts, because it never was.

I have nothing, and after tasting the sweet tang of writing, I want everything.

Current Mood: scared scared

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Haha...I have finally gotten to starting a new LJ account. -.- After having 1 for years and never using it, then starting to use it, I hope that one day I will have as many LJ accounts as I do emails.

Current Mood: devious devious
Current Music: Damnit Jannet

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